A Treatise on Marriage: Part III: The Glue

No realistic discussion of marriage can be considered complete without talk of sex, one way or another. It is a big part of marriage. I've often seen it as the glue that holds things together. Some females may disagree, seeing it instead as a more caustic and irritating chemical than glue, perhaps like a mild acid. It's not acid. It is glue. The sooner you realize this, the better off things will be. Later on, when you're 70 and have been married almost 50 years, you won't need the glue and it'll be alright to go to bed in your flannel nightgown and tube socks. But until then, remember: it's the glue, and the better the quality of the glue, the better things stick together.

Male marriage hackers have employed many underhanded and deceptive schemes to secure this one aspect of   married life. Some female hackers have, too, but more often they are guilty at a 2nd degree level of aiding and abetting. I find it sad seeing so many people involved in marriage hacking. The benefits of a hacking are transient, leaving you hungrier after than before, and it creates wounds that may heal, but they always leave behind a scar.

The Creator designed sex, not only for the obvious--procreation--but also made it a process that can be enjoyable for both husband and wife. I say "husband and wife" purposely and with intent. That is the only really acceptable context for sex. Unmarried couples have no business dipping into this experience well. I know this opinion will meet with a great deal of disagreement, and that's OK. Most of the people who will disagree really aren't concerned with pleasing their Creator or living their lives in submission to His rules and regs. But frankly, the topic is not open for debate. The Rule Book is very clear in its prohibition of premarital sex, so dabble at it before marriage at your own risk.

The Dark Lord has also exploited the sexual drive for his nefarious purposes. He has convinced us that we cannot wait--we need it now, and there's no sense in waiting for some puritanical arrangement to be made in order to indulge. Marriage hackers try and convince themselves that it is a purely biological function and there is no harm in it. I realize we live in a nation--yea, even a world--of people for whom the notion of self-control is as unreal as transmutation or teleportation. Deferring gratification on this front until we have undergone the antiquated rite of marriage seems to some absurd, to others merely a remnant of an unenlightened age bound in confining legalism.

Truthfully, I don't expect secular people to give this notion a second glance. I expect life to go on as it is for most people. Those who desire a healthy relationship with a husband or wife may have it, given that they accept the limitations and parameters that the author has set up. There is a lot more than the sexual part of being married, yet when you are married, the thing that makes sex so great is knowing that this other person is with you because they love you more than anyone else on the planet. If that isn't present, or if it isn't solidified with a formal commitment, then what's it worth? It's like a Rolex made in China. The function may or may not be there, but it has no real value.