The Heaviness of Failure

I just spent some time today reading different "inspirational" quotes about failure. There are many perspectives, but most every one addressed the inevitability of failure in this life. Many paraphrased, in one way or another, the notion that simply not succeeding was not failure, but not trying was. Others focused on the learning aspects of failure.

One of the most interesting ones was attributed to Confucius: "To be wrong is nothing unless you continue to remember it."

In general, it seems people need encouragement concerning the failure in their lives. I need this myself on occasion. It's nice to know that your failures are not defining moments. It's nice to know that the chance for success is always right there next to failure and the only way to avoid both is never to try. Other quotes addressed that particular thing--not trying--as the true definition of failure.

Simply not trying doesn't seem to be a fitting definition of failure, or at least is not a practical working definition. We all try and fail and it still seems and feels like failure no matter how you slice it. We all know what failure is. We aim, we miss, we fail. Whatever the reason, whether it be due to poor planning, poor training, superior competition or some unknown factor, we know failure when we feel it. Therefore, although not trying is failure in one regard, trying and missing is also failure, yet it is not the type of failure we should be ashamed of. It is a natural consequence of of life and of trying and striving and attempting to make our lives better. It should be our goal to not view both types of failure the same way.

This being true, then we do make choices and we do make mistakes. Our judgments, assessments and appraisals of life's situations are always imperfect. They are often clouded by bias, ignorance and a selfish refusal to see things as they really are. Even on our best day, when we make the best decisions possible, outside forces act against us and our perfect aim ends up falling short of the target. Perfection is not within our grasp.

Ultimately, we should strive for perfection, even knowing we can never attain it. Then when we fall down, we get up and try again, knowing that there is at least one more path we should avoid in our endeavors. Aiming for perfection while knowing we can never reach it isn't necessarily pointless. Aiming high, you will always do better than not aiming at all. In striving for perfection, we may not be able to reach it, but our best efforts will bring us closer and closer with every attempt. As a musician, you do this. In learning a piece of music, most of us start out with a very imperfect rendering, practicing over and over, getting better with each attempt. Hopefully, eventually, after hundreds of play-thrus, the mistakes disappear or are lessened to an insignificant level.

So failure helps us to move toward perfection, and as long as we don't store up our failures like trophies on a shelf, we can't be crippled by them. Confucius pretty much had it right: "To be wrong is nothing unless you continue to remember it."