The Crucible

cru·ci·ble [kroo-suh-buhl]; noun; 1. a container of metal or refractory material employed for heating substances to high temperatures.

There is a play by Arthur Miller that shares the same name as this post, yet that is as far as my post and the play are alike. I refer to a phenomenon in my life where multiple trials and tribulations coincide, putting me under almost unbearable pressures over (thankfully) short periods of time. I am also thankful that I don't find myself in The Crucible often, yet that refers to history only. It could change at any moment.

Trials are a given in life. When life becomes perfect, I'll assume I'm either in an extended dream state, plugged into a poorly programmed Matrix construct, or enjoying the glories of Heaven. I've never naively assumed that life should have no problems and have reluctantly accepted their presence, yet I do think it is generally abnormal when they pile up.

I've recently spent a short while in The Crucible. You find yourself rethinking decisions you've made and wishing that there was something you could do to reduce the heat. It's a time for second-guessing and irrational thinking. It's a time when you seriously consider major life changes with no more reason than it would allow you to escape the present turmoil. Escape, of course, is a short-term change and fixes nothing, but when you are in The Crucible, you don't care. Emotionally speaking, to me the feeling would resemble someone sitting on your chest, making every breath difficult. All you want is for the pressure to be gone and to breathe one unhindered breath.

In the midst of The Crucible, I look for a quiet place where I can evaluate my circumstances and see them in uncolored light. I strive to find a moment where I can center my life and recalibrate my senses. I remind myself of the central truths that are foundational to me. I remind myself that the present state is temporal. I look for purpose in the midst of the dark cloud. I do any of a number of things sharing the purpose of sweeping away the false notions that begin to fill my thinking.

In the end, I find that The Crucible does to me what it does to more elemental things. Impurities are burned up and I later leave it cleaner than I entered it. I'm not quite pure enough yet that I react favorably to it from the start, leading me to believe that I still have lessons to learn. I just need to become a better student.

 And I will put this third into the fire, and refine them as one refines silver, and test them as gold is tested. They will call upon my name, and I will answer them. I will say, ‘They are my people’; and they will say, ‘The Lord is my God.’”  ~  Zechariah 13:9