The Joys of Pipe Smoking

I am reacquainting myself with the joys of pipe smoking. Aside from the pleasures of the act itself, it has other fringe benefits. For one, it sets me at odds with the Pharisees in our midst. Some people tell me they are allergic to pipe smoke. Me? I'm not allergic to pipe smoke, but I am allergic to sanctimony.

 I'm not one who enjoys arguing, but I find myself unable to not argue when people (the Pharisees) state that I shouldn't smoke because it causes cancer. This assumption on their part is founded in ignorance. They wrongly assume that pipe smoking and cigarette smoking are the same thing, and therefore hold the same hazards. The anti-smoking  zealots spread half-truths and whole lies to support their cause. All the while, no one really knows what causes cancer. Sure, you can make correlations ("Man A smoked for 25 years and got lung cancer. Cigarettes must cause cancer.") However, this is turned on its ear for every person that smokes for 30 years and doesn't get cancer. Truthfully, the hazards for pipe smoking are minimal and are outweighed by the benefits, assuming that cigarette smoking does cause cancer.


The one thing that usually turns off guys that try pipe smoking is tongue bite. This is when you scorch your tongue with hot smoke from the pipe, smoke which also contains steam created when it is cooked off the tobacco. This is usually caused by overzealous puffing, an act of which I am frequently guilty. Overzealous puffing is usually thought necessary when the pipe is packed improperly and requires such puffing to keep it lit. Packing a pipe is an art unto itself, one which has received much study over the centuries.


Here's to a good puff now and then!