A Taste for Justice

On my daily commute, there is a stretch of road adjacent to a construction zone where the two lanes going each way have been limited to one in each direction. The people who travel this road daily know about this area; it’s been this way for 6 months or more already. This road has a half-mile straightaway leading up to the merge and morning traffic can back up and cover this straightaway. Every morning that the traffic backs up like this, there are drivers that will camp out in that dwindling lane as they drive through, blocking the idiot drivers’ attempts to jump to the front of the line. I’ve done this myself, and those who also do it are my heroes in the same way that soldiers are. They are the defenders of the masses. They have a thirst for justice that I also have: to see that the commuters waiting in this line of traffic aren’t ripped off by a few selfish (insert profane epithet here). We all long for justice and enjoy seeing justice prevail. It's just that we have different opinions on what justice is. Justice, it seems, is a matter of perspective.

Actually, what we want is selective justice. Justice--real justice--isn’t so pleasing. It applies to all of us equally. We rarely see pure justice. What we see is corrupted with leniency, favoritism, self-servitude and bias.

Our morals are generally inconsistent, too. Standards or opinions we don’t agree with are wrong. On one side, we say that homosexuality is immoral. On the other side, they are saying that intolerance and hatred are wrong. Some libertines would have us believe that morality is relative and that multiple, contradictory standards can coexist, but that makes no sense. Something deep inside each of us knows that there is an absolute standard out there somewhere, something that ties it all together and sweeps away the confusion and disarray. We just don’t know what that standard is. We don’t know, or we don’t want to know.

Some people would say that Christianity is one of these morally inconsistent viewpoints. We set up our rules that make us look good and others look bad. Our standards make sinners out of those we disagree with and saints out of those like us. This point of view is based in ignorance. The foundation upon which Christianity rests is the Bible--the Word of God. The Word of God is that Absolute Standard. It ties everything together and makes better sense of many things in this world that are puzzling. Our inability to maintain that standard or our unwillingness to acknowledge its authority does not change what it is. Also, read it cover to cover and you won't find the picture of justice as we would have it; it's not there. Instead you find God's justice, and God’s justice is perfect and is based on His holy, unwavering standard.

Yet we still want that relativistic justice, custom made to fit our particular weaknesses and strengths. The problem is that wavering mores and relativistic justice have no place in the economy of a God who is the same yesterday, today and forever. We are all guilty of failing to meet this holy, unwavering standard. Sooner or later, we will all stand before God’s throne. Before the bench of this Holy Judge, we will be without defense. The boldness with which we defend our warped views today will evaporate, for the Holy Judge will demand respect in his Court, and in His Court there is only one opinion.  All of His attributes are flawless and He can exist perfect in every regard, without contradiction, without inconsistency. He holds us to the standard of His Word, and He maintains this standard, not lowering it at any point. Yet we are not without hope As God is perfect in His justice, He is also perfect in His love, and the part of God that is perfect in love is willing to pay debt of those who come to him in humility and repentance.

Those who have made their peace with God and have allowed Him to reform their lives find that they have had their thirst for justice refocused. They want to see God’s will done on earth as it is in heaven. They have read the end of the book and know that day is coming when all things will be made new, yet the longing remains in the here and now. We long for justice, not that we may see wrongdoers punished, but that we may see the will of our holy and righteous Judge done. We echo the words found in Amos 5:24:

...Let justice roll down like waters

And righteousness like an ever-flowing stream.

Looking to that day when justice prevails and to when peace--real peace--finally comes, we also echo the words of John the Apostle:

Amen. Even so, come, Lord Jesus

I long for that day. Sometimes my heart aches in anticipation. I know that God's patience will not endure forever. I know that the evildoers of this world are storing up wrath for that day. I know that righteousness will ultimately prevail. As I long for that day and acknowledge all of these things, I would also like to add the words of Captain Jean-Luc Picard:

Make it so.

The Man in the Mirror

When you are my age, nearing the half-century mark (which is, by the way, 1/20th of a millennium), you notice that time has left its mark on you. The youthful appearance you once possessed has fled. All that is left is the haggard, road-weary countenance of someone much older than you feel. Where did that kid get off to?

Having absconded with your appearance, the kid also took other things, pilfering here and there as he laid his plans to leave town. My youthful vigor? Gone. My sense of adventure? Gone, too. Various and sundry passions? Also gone. Many of the things which associated me with those post-pubescent years, the sunrise years of adulthood, are missing.

Decay is a sad thing to behold. It’s usually not noticed unless time is condensed. Take two periods of time, years distant from one another. Remove everything in between so they sit side-by-side and the comparison will show you that time ravages everything it touches, and it touches everything. Your childhood home, once sheltering loved ones from the elements and from ruffians, now falls into a heap. Go to a class reunion and see how the beautiful young women have devolved into middle-aged has-beens, rode hard and put up wet. Handsome young men have been replaced by beer-bellied, bald-headed old men with puffy jowls and gym bags under their eyes.

Old age also leads its victims into a delusional state. They disregard the evidences of age and feel as if time has not moved along. Women think they are still hot. Men have dreams of easily winning the affections of younger women. Tricked by time, these poor souls wander to and fro, sweating drops of desperation. The odor can be sickening to those grounded in reality, but more often it results in pity. Poor oblivious suckers.

Hopefully as we age, our tastes mature. Women aren’t compelled to dress in ridiculous ways. Men compare the ages of younger women to their children and grandchildren. Unable to defeat Father Time, we invite him in for a cup of coffee and a piece of cake. We will hopefully acknowledge that aging gracefully is to be coveted and revered. Time marches on, so deal with it. As for me, I feel like a twenty-something in the body of a forty-something. I’ve never felt older. Granted, I do look older, but what can I do about that? A radical comb-over? A neglected membership at a gym? No, I choose to accept the hand I’m dealt. While I will not choose to advance the process of advancing by dissipation, I will deal with life as it comes and I will seek to enjoy it until it ends.

When the inevitability of aging surrounds us and we aren’t swept away by delusion, we will either succumb to defeat and allow it to rob our life of joy and meaning or we will embrace it as being part of that life. Getting old has always been a part of life. The only ones who have left this life without doing battle with Father Time have left it prematurely, not having seen what many believe to be the best years of it all. Getting old has is rewards, too. Older people have confidence. They have wisdom (hopefully). They have experience. They have good friendships that have endured for years and shine like hand-rubbed mahogany. Older people can slow down and enjoy the richness of life, savoring each moment. All young people have is looks and energy.

Old people that load up in a motor home and tool around the country, spending the wealth they’ve acquired over the last 30 or 40 years of saving, are shameful. Seniors should be plugged in to younger generations, teaching and passing on wisdom, not tooling around in a gashog monstrosity, feasting on the fat of the land. Senior adults who live this self-indulgent type of life are partially responsible for the ignorance of present generations. We are presently raising children and young adults on a diet that is free of wisdom. Experience is not always the best teacher. Someone else’s experience is usually better, granted we have the smarts to learn from their mistakes.

I said that old, selfish people are only partially responsible for the ignorance of present generations. This is because younger generations bask in their ignorance. They proudly look on previous generations as more ignorant and without anything of value to offer them. These unteachable masses will soon enough reap a harvest of pain and suffering, without anyone to blame but themselves.

So I look in the mirror and wonder at the value of those lines, the sagging flesh, and those latter-day bulges. If I consider myself wiser than I was--if I consider each trial, each tribulation to be of value--then I’ve done well. One cannot hang onto youth any more than you can hold water in your hand. It slips through, no matter how hard you try to keep it. If you are one of those rare young people who covet wisdom and the richness which maturity bring to life, be patient. There is no fast track, no shortcut, to wisdom. There are shorter routes, but even the shortest routes are decades long.

The best advice I can give a younger person is to be mindful of who you are and where you are at all times. Think long and hard about what kind of person you want to be, and let everything you do move you toward that goal. Be today's version of the kind of person you want to be.  It is my hope that you never reach that specific goal. My hope is that by the time you get there, you have fine-tuned that goal at regular intervals, replacing unimportant features with more important ones as your priorities have changed, as you have matured. I am nothing like I wanted to be in my youth, but I’m happy where I am and I have no regrets.

No regrets. I like the sound of that. I’d rather have that than youth any day.

On Raising Children - Part III - Nuts and Bolts

 

One thing you learn as you compare your child rearing ideas with others is just how unique these ideas and the methods used to employ them are. Given the difference in all this, everyone is an expert if only in the realm of their own experience. What you must force yourself to examine is not all the talk or all the neat sounding ideas, but the fruit of the parents labors. All the talk and all the high-minded notions are worthless in parenting if they don’t produce the goods. In this case, I consider “the goods” to be well-adjusted, well-mannered children, ready for inclusion in the human race. I have seen many, many, many parents who talk a good game but just don’t deliver at the plate. Matthew 7:17 says that “...every good tree bears good fruit, but a bad tree bears bad fruit.” This applies as well in judging parenting methods: look for the fruit.

Before you ever have your first child, you should have made certain decisions about how that child will be trained and taught. The training of a child is work--hard work. It requires a firm hand that will consistently enforce the rules of the house that have been set in place to bring about this predetermined training and teaching. Establishing and maintaining these standards will require the use of force.

I once worked for a private security company, protecting the assets and lives of a wealthy family. Every work day, before our shift would begin. we would discuss certain things in a roll call meeting. Some were specific, relating to this particular company’s activities. Others were general, relating more to security and law enforcement topics. One day a supervisor presented information on what he called the Ladder of Force. This demonstrated how the use of force follows a progression beginning with the physical presence of the officer and ending with deadly force. The general idea was that a proper response worked upward on the ladder using only as much force as any situation dictated, but escalating the use of force as necessary to gain the compliance of the adversary. With children, you don’t really have a good guy/bad guy situation, although at times it seems to be just that. You are training, guiding, and educating this child on how they should behave. You are creating structure where there is none. You are creating order from chaos. In order to accomplish this effectively, you must sometimes ascend the Ladder of Force. Be prepared to use your muscle to make it happen. Corporal punishment is the best way to speak to younger children who don’t yet have the ability to reason. There is no other path.

You should completely disregard those who say that spanking teaches a child violence. That is foolishness, steeped in ignorance. A child that is allowed to defy authority has a heart that is filled with violence. It has never been necessary to be taught violence. It is the fruit of human nature when it is allowed to ferment without constraint. The purpose of discipline is neither to violate, to damage, nor to abuse. It is to enforce compliance to a standard.

So, preparing to be a parent, whether actively or academically, should involve deciding how you want your child to behave and determining and applying methods to make that happen. It is a wrong-headed notion that children have all this goodness inside of them and if we just let them grow up unfettered, they will turn out just fine. (When I say “wrong-headed”, you can assume I’m also saying, stupid, idiotic, naive or moronic.)  I would suggest getting over these free-thinking notions, getting ready to work at parenting, and getting a plan drawn up which will help you to attain your goal.

Here's my starter list. Though not perfect, this is a good list to start with because each of these items focus on character traits that the entirety of humanity would benefit from modeling. Realizing that values differ from person to person, I can’t offer a list that would be perfectly suitable for everyone, but I’m going to offer a few things I’ve tried to teach my children.  If you’re wondering about the “tried to” caveat, go back to Part II and read the first paragraph about the boiling cauldron. I wish the things in this list were universally accepted as essential. Perhaps when the masses read this treatise, the trend will begin moving that way.

1. Telling the Truth. - Lying is one of the biggest impediments to parenting.  In many situations, you need to know the truth, but there is no way of divining it aside from their confession, and somewhere along the way, your cute little child has become a lying, deceitful little bugger. Early on, you need to establish this beachhead of truthfulness. Many of your other efforts will hinge on this, so don’t discount its importance. The most difficult aspect of this will be having your children be truthful while upholding the consequences for certain actions. Self-preservation will drive a child to lie like a senator under oath. Casting the moral importance for truthfulness in spite of consequences is important. Psalm 15, in describing the upright man, says that he “swears to his own hurt and does not change.” This idea of doing the right thing even if it hurts may be foreign to some folks, but remains an essential hallmark for decent humanity.


2. Making Amends. - You don’t have to be a recovering drunk, slogging your way through the 12 steps, to reap the benefits of making amends. When you have wronged someone, whether by deed or word, then you should make that right, repairing the situation through a sincere mea culpa. “I am sorry” means nothing except that you regret something has happened. It doesn’t establish your guilt and show you have accepted responsibility. “Please forgive me” is more appropos. Accepting responsibility for our actions means that these actions are dealt with by the parties directly involved. If your actions have caused loss of a material nature, then it is necessary to offer restitution. We should all strive to keep a clear conscience. If we deal with situations where we have wronged others, then there will be nothing hidden--no skeletons in that proverbial closet for others to drag out to haunt us. This lesson is very hard to learn as an adult and is better learned as a child.


3. Respect for Others - Many of these ideas could be sub-classified under this one, but it warrants mention on its own. Having a basic respect for others is why people are courteous. It is why they aren’t rude or self-serving. I heard one man refer to this as remembering the preciousness of others. Everyone you meet was fashioned by the hands of the same Creator. This gives them value. Humility and deference is one of the most noble, most sincerely good attributes we can display. It exemplifies the antithesis of the all-too-common selfish nature that runs rampant in humanity. By showing respect for others, you are showing yourself and these others that you have risen above your baser nature. You are showing them that they are important, and they are seeing by your behavior that you are as well. I could go on about this one forever, but this will do for now.


4. Respect for Authority - This notion has been undermined since the late ‘60s, but needs to see a resurgence. Fixing this in the minds of your children requires a respect for you as the parent first. You are their first and foremost authority, and you must command and demand their respect, yet respect must be earned, so strive to deserve it. If they don’t respect you, they will probably not respect other authorities either. Since we, now and forever, live under authority of one kind or another, willingly subjecting ourselves to this is an act of self-preservation. This also means we respect authority even if we don’t respect the person in that position. Authority is established by God, too (Romans 13:1-7), and those in authority will be held accountable for how they handled that responsibility.


5. Self-Control - Maintaining a controlling grip on the beast that resides in each of us is a tall order. If we can simply not allow that beast to run amok, that is good, but if we can harness our desires and make them subject to what we know is their proper use, we will have accomplished a great feat and will save ourselves from a lifetime of woe, pain and regrets. We must learn to say “no” to our darker sides. We must also learn to control our tongue. This not only means not saying the wrong thing, but talking too much in general (Proverbs 10:19). Self-control in all areas of our lives is important. One way I try to exercise this is by saying “no” to things that really don’t matter that much. If I want to stop on the way home and get myself a fizzy beverage, this really doesn’t matter, morally speaking, yet by saying “no” to that simple desire, I have established control of my desire. It doesn’t control me. If you can do it at this level, you can move up the Ladder of Control, establishing self-control at progressively higher levels. Teach your kids the meaning of “no”. Teach them the meaning of “not now.” Teach them that throwing a fit in response to either of these is totally and completely unacceptable.
   


6. A Healthy Work Ethic - Work, like authority, cannot be escaped. We all are called to work in different ways for different reasons. Helping your children to see the value in working and working hard will make them useful to you, to their families, to their employer, and to society as a whole. Laziness is a cancer that must be excised, medicated, radiated and obliterated at all costs. This is supported by biblical teaching: “If a man will not work, he shall not eat.” (2 Thessalonians 3:10). Give your children responsibility early on in their lives and make them progressively responsible for more things and more important things. There is absolutely nothing wrong with a child helping out with the work around the house. Teach them to do things, to do them correctly, and to do them with a good attitude. Teach your kids this and they will sing your praises when they are older and the fruits of their responsibility have ripened.

There are many, many other things that could be on this list, but this is a good start. If our kids can grasp these things, they will be well on their way to acceptable adulthood. You may also be able to forgo that locking-them-in-the-basement thing.

I'll leave you with this, a method for raising teenagers. I heard it from Chuck Swindoll, who was apparently quoting Mark Twain. He said that when your child turns thirteen, you should lock them in a barrel and feed them through the hole. When they turn sixteen, stop up the hole.

On Raising Children - Part II - The Hard Part

Being a parent is much like trying to stay afloat in a boiling cauldron. Keeping your head above water won’t necessarily save you. Children, it seems, have a mind of their own. They often refuse to listen to wise counsel. They can insist on making independent decisions that are ill-informed and can totally depart from what they’ve been taught. This, they feel, is what it means to be grown up. This is what it is like to be free from the yoke of parental control. This is the thanks their well-intentioned parents get for twenty years of love, support and involvement. Well, we all want our kids to become independent, except for a few freaky co-dependent sorts who would rather strangle their kids with apron strings, yet a parent’s greatest fear is to have their kids depart from the path they’ve tried to set them on. Having to sit back and watch your kids unnecessarily make big mistakes with serious consequences creates gray hair, bags under the eyes, stomach ulcers, and drives people to early graves. This “Children of the Corn” mentality carries its own curse. Children who despise the rule of their parents and have no use for their advice eventually grow up and have kids of their own who give them the same thing--in spades. What goes around, comes around. The chickens always come home to roost. We reap what we sow, and in this case, sowing the wind, you reap the whirlwind.

Now from the child’s perspective: Dealing with parents can, at the least, be frustrating. At worst, you feel betrayed, abandoned, detached, and adrift. Obviously, the two parties involved--parent and child--are at odds with each other. They are differently motivated and work toward different ends. Parents ideally want to help their kids avoid making stupid mistakes and to help them avoid embarrassing themselves and their families with preventable indiscretions. They want their kids to embark on life’s journey well-equipped for every contingency. Kids want to have fun and make their own decisions. The conflict often arises because children, experience-poor and unprepared to make good decisions on a wealth of matters, insist on doing so anyway. They fancy themselves more mature than they are. Parents can be guilty of fancying their children as less mature than they are. Children think their parents have little to offer someone young and growing into adulthood. Parents think their children, rather than being free to roam the globe, should be locked up in the basement. This is, of course, always for their own good.

Study all of these frustrations and many more and you will come up with several common elements. Here are a few:

1. Children discount the experience and knowledge of their parents. - In the Bible, such knowledge is called wisdom, and wisdom is defined as “knowledge of what is true or right coupled with just judgment as to action.” In other words, knowing the best course of action and having the sense and initiative to make that choice. Experience is still the best teacher, and parents have been in that classroom a whole lot longer than you, kiddo. In many regards, children have yet to enter certain classrooms at all. Children: listen carefully to what your parents are saying. The chances are pretty good that their experience may trump your youthful exuberance.


2. Parents not listening to children or not explaining their decisions to them. - Even if a child is wrong in their motivations, the parent has the obligation to listen if for no other reason than be equipped to explain why one path is right and the other wrong or why one choice is better than another. “Because I said so” just fuels a contest of the wills. Explaining your decision to your child doesn’t mean they will readily accept your judgment either. However received, a parent should provide their counsel and present their wisdom in a non-threatening way, explaining as best they can the reasoning that goes into their decision.


3. Parents and their children position themselves as adversaries, not compatriots, in the growing-up minefield. - Working as a team with a common goal is essential. This means that both parents and children must be prepared for some give-and-take in the process. Kids: remember this--your parents are not the enemy. Parents: remember this--your kids aren’t the demonic little killjoy they may seem to be at times. Love and mutual respect softens conflict.


4. Unrealistic expectations of equality. - Children should be prepared to give up on having everything they way they want it. At this stage of a family’s development, egalitarianism will not work. There has to be a hierarchy of leadership, a place for the buck to stop, and someone who can have the last word. Unfortunately for kids, this role is best occupied by parents. When common ground and agreement cannot be established, the final decision should fall to the parents. A child’s deference to a parent’s judgment will prove to be a wise choice. Time almost always shows that the parents’ decisions for the children are better than the children’s decisions for themselves.


5. You cannot be parent and friend to your children at the same time. - The role of parent and friend are very often in opposition to one another. Give up on the notion of being a friend to your children until they are adults. Children: don’t expect your parents to treat you like your friends do. Don’t expect them to blindly embrace every idea you have. Don’t expect them to support every decision you make. Their job is to protect you from your own stupidity. Let them do this. You’ll appreciate it later. Guaranteed.

The challenges of parenting have changed over time. The remedies and tools parents use in their work have changed, too; some would say they have “evolved”. In the Mosaic Law, rebellion in children was a capital crime. Deuteronomy 21 says:

18 If a man has a stubborn and rebellious son who does not obey his father and mother and will not listen to them when they discipline him, 19 his father and mother shall take hold of him and bring him to the elders at the gate of his town. 20 They shall say to the elders, "This son of ours is stubborn and rebellious. He will not obey us. He is a profligate and a drunkard." 21 Then all the men of his town shall stone him to death. You must purge the evil from among you. All Israel will hear of it and be afraid.

Things have softened up just a bit since then. Yet rather than view this as overly harsh and barbaric, try and see the value in having such a strict view of childhood rebellion. While I don’t advocate the reinstatement of laws requiring the stoning of the rebellious child,  I believe this law did bring benefits into the early Israeli society. Maintaining the order between parents and children, even if by rule of law, is better than anarchy. It is how militaries have kept order for thousands of years. It is what has kept organizations functioning properly for millenia. Reinforced order is what it is. Since the Mosaic law of that time was instituted and written by God Himself, we must also conclude that reinforced order within the family unit is not only beneficial, but is mandated. Today, we cannot expect to have that kind of attitude supported by government, but we still can as a family unit, short of the stoning part that is. When children willingly defer to a parent’s judgment, they are doing their part to create stability. They are also performing an act of self-preservation. Ephesians 6:1-3 (quoting Deuteronomy 5:16) tells children that the fruit of honoring their parents is that “it may go well with you and you may have long life on the earth.” It is therefore safe to assume that the inverse of these would be the fruit of rebellion: that it will not go well for you and you will not have long life on the earth.

Thus far, I’ve tried, albeit rather poorly, to point out that: a) It is easy to have children; and b) It is hard to raise children well. In the next episode, I will cover exactly what you should teach them.

On Raising Children - Part I - The Easy Part

Having recently written my very popular (kidding) multi-part informative series on marriage, I’ve decided to embark on the next logical step: children. I’m thinking that many who read this aren’t even to the marriage part yet, but I’m hoping that you will experience an epiphany of common sense when reading this new series, the scales will fall from your eyes, and you will find yourself reformed in your thinking on the subject. So go ahead: feast on the wisdom I now set before you.

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Simple observation of history and our surroundings has shown us that any numbskull can create offspring. It’s an easy thing to do. Dogs do it, and many adults and not-yet adults do it with the same mindset as dogs. Blindly led by their hormones and urges, they unwittingly create children. Children are too often born to parents who, not long before, were children themselves. Adulthood has been forced on them by responsibility which many will shirk and others will lazily acknowledge. Their offspring will be poorly raised by parents who were themselves poorly raised, not embracing responsibility, but putting it off as if it were a household chore that could wait until next week. A cycle is then perpetuated, with poorly prepared parents, unwilling to improve their child-rearing skills, raising poorly taught children who soon enough become another generation of ill-prepared, unteachable parents.

Thankfully, my observation is not as bleak as it sounds. There is always a chance for parents to break the cycle. There is always the chance for children of poor parents to overcome the fruits of their parents’ non-labors. So with the opportunity to overcome--the chance to step away from circumstances we are born into--what’s an excuse worth? Not much. Motivation and a desire to change come at a much higher price than apathy and indifference, and there are few willing to pony up the difference.

The most unfortunate scenario though is the parents, well-taught and well-raised, that don’t pass what they were taught on to their children. One excuse is laziness. Raising children properly is hard work. People who blow off this work continue to puzzle me. Perhaps they are thinking that their children, left to their own devices, will turn out OK. Perhaps they are thinking that their parents methods were backward and in need of improvement which they, the new generation of enlightened parents, will be better able to provide. The "new" direction is usually more laissez-faire, and is actually a downgrade. It provides nothing for making the children better people than they would have received had they been raised by wolves. Fools always see their generation as the best and brightest, as the most knowledgeable, and the best qualified to undo the ruination of previous generations. What a stupid, short-sighted notion! God save us from such as these.

Since trying to reason with a fool is like trying to teach a pig table manners, the most I’ll idealistically hope for is that some misguided soul will mistakenly stumble in here and unexpectedly glean some value from these lessons. I’ll also be content if those who agree with me are able to have their ideals shored up by a like-minded friend. The greatest possible benefit though will be for a young person, perhaps on the cusp of marriage and/or parenthood, to rethink and refocus their own notions of parenthood, both what they’ve received and what they will eventually administer to their own kids. There is one thing that separates us from those dogs mentioned earlier: we have the capacity to better ourselves. Whether we exercise our gift as a higher being to do so is another question.

An American Tragedy

As I've alluded to a nauseating number of times, my job as a funeral director, while full of boredom, is laced with a modicum of interesting situations. Interesting to me, that is. It would probably be 100% boredom to most of you.

The other day took me to Amarillo for a graveside service. Llano Cemetery is one I've been to before, but that was about 10 years ago, at the beginning of my career, and it was actually to the mausoleum. This time took me to the dirt, where the normal, everyday folks lie in peaceful repose.

Typically, I set up at least an hour before service time. The trip to Amarillo from Fort Worth took a little less time than I had figured, so I was set up early and was killing time, enjoying a very unusual summer day that felt more like spring. One of the cemetery workers was unusually chatty, telling me about having lived in the Fort Worth area for some years. I got a run-down on his employment history and every community he had lived in. I had nothing better to do, so I continued to politely listen to his stories. That, plus I was somewhat a captive audience for him. Eventually, he figured he had better get back to work, yet before he left he mentioned a grave I might like to see. He said it was the grave of a fellow named Husband who had been on one of the space shuttles that had crashed. He pointed in its direction and then went back to his work.

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On January 16, 2003, the Space Shuttle Columbia took off from the Kennedy Space Center. This was the 27th mission this craft had flown, and it was manned with a crew of seven. The commander of the flight was Rick D. Husband, an Air Force colonel and a veteran of only one other shuttle mission, having piloted STS-96 on the first shuttle mission to dock with the International Space Station in 1996.

On launch, a three-foot piece of foam insulation fell off of an external fuel tank and damaged the shuttle's wing. It is theorized that the foam created a hole in a reinforced carbon panel on the wing, possibly as small as 6 to 10 inches in diameter. NASA management felt that the damage hadn't created an unsafe condition and refused to take any measures to examine the damage in depth, including refusing to have an astronaut examine the wing and refusing to have DOD satellites photograph the damage.

On February 1, 2003, the shuttle was scheduled to land at the Kennedy Space Center at 9:16am EST. All preparations had been made for a normal re-entry with no concern given to the wing damage. At 8:53.26, Columbia crossed the California coastline west of Sacramento. It was traveling at Mach 23 at an altitude of 231,600 feet. At this time, the temperature of the wing's leading edge would be around 2,800 °F. At 8:58:20, the shuttle crossed from New Mexico into Texas. At 8:59:15, Maintenance, Mechanical, and Crew Systems (MMACS) informed the crew that pressure readings for the left landing gear had been lost. Flight Commander Husband responded, "Roger, uh, bu...", his transmission being cut off mid-sentence. That was the last communication to be received from the Columbia.

At 2:04pm EST, President Bush addressed the nation. He said what many already knew: "The Columbia is lost; there are no survivors."

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Debris was scattered over a vast area, from southeast of Dallas throughout East Texas and into western Louisiana, some even being found in southwest Arkansas. This was my home turf, my old stomping grounds. One of the largest amounts of debris fell around Nacogdoches, where I went to college and lived for 5 years. If the sorrow of having this happen there weren't bad enough, the scavengers snatching up debris and trying to sell it on eBay proved a more intense embarrassment. Ugliness exists everywhere, but you don't want the national spotlight shining on your hometown version of it.

It was reported that remains of all seven of the astronauts was recovered. Morbid speculation leads us to assume that it was most likely not all or most of any of the seven that was recovered.

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Rick Husband's funeral was in Clear Lake, Texas on February 5, 2003. He was then buried in Llano Cemetery in Amarillo.

Husband was known for his Christian faith. In his last-request form, which astronauts fill out before each flight, it is reported that he inserted a note to his pastor. The note states: "Tell them about Jesus. He's real to me."

 

Summertime in Texas

Here it is, the official first day of summer. Yet here in Texas, we've been experiencing summer for some two months already.

Spring here is short. Not in the official sense; in the official sense, it's still three months long, but in the practical sense, spring lasts but a month or so and then the heat sweeps in and kills everything that was verdant and lush. That's Texas. That's the price we pay for not having excruciatingly hard winters, lots of snow and ice and for not needing tire chains. Our cars don't rust away from the salted roads in winter, but they must have a working AC.

I recall meeting a fellow at a church we were once members of. He and his wife were from Wyoming--the mountainous part--and had moved to the area for seminary. We worked together on a building project at church for a few weeks, using his truck at one point to haul sheetrock. It had no AC. He bemoaned the fact, stating that in Wyoming, AC was pretty much optional. He had bought this truck new, opting to forgo the cost of climate control. Being in Texas for a summer made him regret that frugal decision.

I've lived in two different climate zones in Texas. I grew up in East Texas, which is a close to a tropical zone as this state gets. The humidity is high, there is usually abundant rainfall, and anything will grow there. Drop a penny on the ground, and in a week's time, pick up a nickle. I've also lived, for the past 24 years, in North Texas. While not arid, the climate here is considerably less humid. Here it is more of a dry heat. Somewhere between June and July, my yard turns into a nice shade of brown, maybe a rich tan. Other than the dustiness, I don't mind not mowing. The heat makes outside projects that endure over several hours unbearable. I've found that when I spend three or four hours outside in the heat of the day, it probably takes me twice as long to recuperate once I've retired. I've never been a big sweater, but Texas heat will draw perspiration out of anyone or anything.

I especially loathe my job in this heat. Imagine standing at a graveside, the temperature hovering at or around 100°F. You are wearing a wool blend suit, a long-sleeved dress shirt, an undershirt and a tie. Did I mention the suit is black? Ten seconds in that environment, and you feel the hot liquid your body is expelling running down your back. Here's some inside information: the coolest place to be in that situation is under a tree, not under the tent. I used to tell my biology students this. I would ask them what they thought happened to all that moisture that a tree sucks out of the ground. It evaporates through the leaves of the tree, and this evaporation cools the temperature around, but especially under that tree where the shade is. Being under that tree, you experience creation's air conditioning.

Fall will be here soon, yet not soon enough. It's usually November before we start seeing traditional fall-like weather. I love the bleakness and gray of fall. The clouds cover the sky, hanging there as if their role is to block all the joy out of people's lives. There's usually not a lot of fall color here, unless you consider brown one of those colors. Fall and spring are my favorite seasons. They are my most productive times. I can accomplish more outside when the heat is not sucking life out of me and when the cold isn't rendering my extremities into numb, lifeless stumps.

We once visited some friends that lived in Burlington, Ontario, which is part of the Greater Toronto area. They had a lovely, huge home in a nice suburban neighborhood. What I remember the most about their house, other than the huge basement, was that they had two--that is, two--double-pane sliding doors on the back of their house, one mounted inside the house, one outside. I don't want to live anywhere where it gets so cold that this kind of construction is necessary.

Living with humidity or heat is something you get used to. Living in East Texas humidity for twenty years, I didn't know there was anything different. Then I move to North Texas and become acclimated here. Now, when I return home for a visit in the summer, the humidity makes the air so thick you feel you are breathing in pudding instead of air.

So I live in Texas without regrets. I love this state and want to be nowhere else. Listening to others bemoan the heat, I just shake my head. Sure, there may be other places where the climate is perfect, never too hot, never too cold. But when the climate is perfect, the imperfections will lie elsewhere.