Every day, there are people that die in tragic, unexpected ways. Car wrecks. Random, murderous acts. Sudden heart failure. I live in expectation of this myself. My mother died from a stroke in her sleep. I deal with families on a regular basis that are working through such losses. I often wonder if that will be my lot. If it is, I won't have time to say some things, so I say them here.
I have no regrets.
This doesn't mean I haven't made any mistakes. I've made plenty. However, that's part of living, isn't it? We learn from our mistakes so that we will hopefully end up better from them and not make them again and again.
This also doesn't mean that I wouldn't change things--decisions I've made--if that supernatural opportunity presented itself. They would be small things though, small things that in the grand scheme don't really matter. My college degree. Jobs I would work toward. Time spent learning to play the guitar. Looking over this list seems trite, petty and nit-picky. Small potatoes.
What it does mean is that, on the whole, my life has been an experience I wouldn't want to change. I might rewrite some of the dialogue, but I wouldn't rewrite whole scenes or cut scenes that didn't work out just right.
I married the right woman. She gave me beautiful kids, each of whom have brought unique blessings to my life that are priceless, none of which I would trade for anything else. I've been blessed with many good friends, certainly many more than I deserve. I've had experiences with them that are rich as well.
My life stretches behind me like a fat scrapbook, bulging with snapshots, school photos, awkward family portraits, and mementos of graduations, weddings, and funerals. I leaf through its pages and there are poorly focused snapshots and professionally composed ones side by side. I never come to a section that I wish I could rip out and throw away. Even the darker times are part of my life. They provide contrast, making the rich, saturated colors of the good times seem all the more bright and intense.
This life has not presented me with many opportunities for fame and/or fortune. It's been simple. It's been rather austere, though I have experienced more luxuries that I ever thought possible. Complexity and richness don't fall on the same continuum though. Simplicity can be, and is often very rich, in experiences and most certainly in blessings. The simple things in life often end up being the most profound.
As life stands before me now though, I still have no regrets. God has been good to me. Very good. I thank Him for my life. I thank Him for every part of it. Therefore, if by His design, it ends now, know that I will go into eternity a satisfied man.
