Yes, I would.
The question? Sorry. The question was one that I just read in a poll. One of the questions asked was would you marry the same person again.
Being a xanga freeloader, I don't pay for the service (Thanks, xanga, for the freebie!). As a result, I'm one of those that get the ads and unwanted content on my pages. Every now and then, a post's title catches my eye when I'm passing through the logon page or see a xanga-mandated sidebar highlighting other people's work. This morning it was cre13's post on marriage ("The Truth About American Marriage"). Having invested over 23 years of my life into one woman, I wanted to see what she had to say.
For the most part, it quoted a Parade magazine article and referenced an online survey. The survey covered topics like happiness, faithfulness, and THE topic that always enters into serious discussions about marriage (I think you know what it is). Seeing the results wasn't so surprising. These days, what I find surprising is to find anyone who has what I consider to be a healthy view of marriage.
Reflecting on 23-plus years of marriage (23 years, 8 months, 24 days to be exact), I see only one surefire method for making a marriage work. It's a pretty tough thing to master, which is probably why the divorce rate is so high. It also explains why those who remain married aren't necessarily happy being so joined. It's not a secret method, yet its repository remains an unopened door in most marriages.
A marriage can grudgingly succeed if only one person practices this, but the chances increase drastically when both do.
What is this thing, this "surefire method"?
It's loving your spouse more than you love yourself.
If you love your spouse more than yourself, you'll remain faithful, because getting your jollies isn't as important as trust. If you love your spouse more than yourself, you'll want to give more than take. If you love your spouse more than yourself, you'll recognize the value of teamwork over every-man-for-himself. If you love your spouse more than yourself, their happiness becomes more important than your own.
A healthy marriage is rarely a pure 50/50 arrangement. Sometimes it's 25/75. Sometimes it's 0/100. Other times, it's 75/25 and 100/0. Few of us are so perfect as to always be on the giving side. Temporary imbalance is OK. Though it is certainly more blessed to give than to receive (Acts 20:35), the act of giving demands a recipient. Being a grateful receiver is blessed, too.
